One of the shitty things about being human is that some of us sometimes get really sick. A will-I-live-or-will-I-die sort of sick. As a collective we spend our lifetime trying to outrun our own mortality so being forced to face it makes people feel a bit ick inside. We feel inadequate because we don’t know what to do or the right thing to say. The thing is when someone gets sick (the live-or-die kind of sick) there is no right thing to say. But if there was, ‘let me know if you need anything’ (LMKIYNA) isn’t it. Continue reading “‘Let me know if you need anything.’”
The menopause.
Menopause is supposed to be something your mother has. When my mother first started ‘whinging’ about the effects of menopause, I’d roll my eyes and sigh. “Yes, we know, you’re hot. We get it.” Only I didn’t get it. I was a self-centred, mean spirited young thing who had absolutely no idea that my mum wasn’t just hot. She felt like she could combust at any moment. I wasn’t supposed to understand that until at least middle age, but there I was, 34 years old, wondering why the hell I was sweating only on one shin… Continue reading “The menopause.”
I am a little bit obsessed with Facebook’s ‘On this day’ feature. I get excited when the clock ticks past midnight and I can see what memories I’ll be reminded of! Most of the time I am disappointed at just how uninteresting some of my posts were, but there are always the ones that make you laugh or that are accompanied by photo’s you forgot had been taken. Then there are the ones that knock the wind out of your sails – memories with friends you no longer see, pictures of people whose lives have been lost, and for me, memories BC/DC – before and during cancer. Continue reading “Facebook and the persistence of memory.”
In the last 3 months I’ve written plenty of things that should have made it on to my blog. Funny things, cancer-related things, non-cancer-related things. But they never seem to quite get there because I get distracted, or I get tired, or I worry it’s too negative, or I binge-watch something on Netflix. You’d think that not having to work would mean I had all the time in the world to be doing the things I want but it hasn’t really worked out that way. Continue reading “What comes next?”
2017 was a hell of a year. A year of starting again in so many ways. And a year of adventure. At this time last year my scar from my surgery was still open in 3 places (still with 5 months of healing ahead) and the crushing heat in a stifling summer was killing me, as were the incessant hot flushes of menopause. I was learning how to manoeuvre in my old world in the new and strangely empty body I had brought back from hospital. Continue reading “Hello 2018.”
Time to rest and recharge.
I can’t believe it is almost Christmas Day. No matter how prepared you are somehow you always seem to get behind and in a rush. So many things to be done in addition to the every day stuff that needs to be done. And this year it seems I broke myself. Continue reading “Time to rest and recharge.”
Travelling with a stoma.
Since having my ileostomy, packing for travel has required a little more planning. Before my recent trip to the US (more on that later in the week) a friend asked if I was packed and ready to go. “As long as I’ve got my passport and cash I’ll be fine,” I said. “And your shit bags,” he said. Oh yeah… Continue reading “Travelling with a stoma.”
1 year since surgery.
There are a lot of milestones in life. The firsts. The lasts. The anniversaries. The befores. The afters. Some milestones stand before us all and others are reserved for the select few – the lucky, the unlucky. Today is one of those milestones for me. It is a year ago today that I was wheeled in to surgery to rid my belly of cancer. Continue reading “1 year since surgery.”
Part and parcel of dealing with cancer is tests – blood tests, CT scans, MRIs. In the space of about a month last year I’d had two CT scans, a PET scan, two blood tests, an appointment with a gynaecological oncologist, a colonoscopy, gastroscopy and a laparoscopy. I felt like a radioactive pincushion. Continue reading “Scanxiety”
With the exception of my previous post, I hadn’t posted in a month and a half. I don’t normally make a point of addressing my laziness. I usually just post and hope nobody notices. I’d like to say it’s because I’ve been busy living a fabulously glamorous life and have been too busy to sit down let alone create, but sadly, the opposite is true. I have had plenty of time, just not the drive. To say things have been rough would be understating things. Continue reading “Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat.”