I am a little bit obsessed with Facebook’s ‘On this day’ feature. I get excited when the clock ticks past midnight and I can see what memories I’ll be reminded of! Most of the time I am disappointed at just how uninteresting some of my posts were, but there are always the ones that make you laugh or that are accompanied by photo’s you forgot had been taken. Then there are the ones that knock the wind out of your sails – memories with friends you no longer see, pictures of people whose lives have been lost, and for me, memories BC/DC – before and during cancer. Continue reading “Facebook and the persistence of memory.”

 

The onslaught of pink advertising banners and sales on kitchen gadgets and preparation for stalls is in full swing which means only one thing – Mother’s Day is around the corner. That one day of the year that’s supposed to be about you but often ends up being about compromise, guilt and shattered expectations. Ugh. Continue reading “Not Mother’s Day Again!”

 

In the last 3 months I’ve written plenty of things that should have made it on to my blog. Funny things, cancer-related things, non-cancer-related things. But they never seem to quite get there because I get distracted, or I get tired, or I worry it’s too negative, or I binge-watch something on Netflix. You’d think that not having to work would mean I had all the time in the world to be doing the things I want but it hasn’t really worked out that way. Continue reading “What comes next?”

 

2017 was a hell of a year. A year of starting again in so many ways. And a year of adventure. At this time last year my scar from my surgery was still open in 3 places (still with 5 months of healing ahead) and the crushing heat in a stifling summer was killing me, as were the incessant hot flushes of menopause. I was learning how to manoeuvre in my old world in the new and strangely empty body I had brought back from hospital. Continue reading “Hello 2018.”

The lost art of accountability.

I have a major grudge against ALL my previous workplaces. Yes, ALL. These organisations and the individuals in them instilled in me a crazy ideology. They presented a framework whereby if I fucked up, I would be held accountable for said fuck up. They held me accountable for my actions, they trained me in policies and rules and procedures and if I made a mistake, I was counselled accordingly. It was in my job description that I was required to communicate with others who may be affected by my work and whose work may affect me.

It has been made clear through recent circumstances that this is fake news. I have been mislead. My previous workplaces took liberties and held my co-workers and I to a standard others simply aren’t held to. Continue reading “The lost art of accountability.”

Part and parcel of dealing with cancer is tests – blood tests, CT scans, MRIs. In the space of about a month last year I’d had two CT scans, a PET scan, two blood tests, an appointment with a gynaecological oncologist, a colonoscopy, gastroscopy and a laparoscopy. I felt like a radioactive pincushion. Continue reading “Scanxiety”

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